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We’ll Explain Later

My Mom didn’t pick up the phone when I called. I was waiting for the light to turn green so I could cross—run.

A lot has happened between now and then. We’re always talking about this time thing, aren’t we? How much of it we have left, what of it is behind us and the unbelievable events that belong to it. It’s how the world works. Be here at this time, meet him tomorrow. Birthdays, anniversaries, deaths, parties, appointments, flights, weddings. Now, I want to keep this short…

One year ago today I received the congratulatory email. That’s what the subject was headed as, “Congratulations, Tatiana! You’ve bee…” I clicked the email and glanced at it for a second but that was all it took. I lost my appetite the entire day. I was in the streets of the city, literally jumping and shouting for joy. I must have looked absolutely ridiculous, I know I did. Eventually when I was able to put words together and tell everyone who had been just as anxious to hear the news, I remember the one thing that everyone said. They said: “Are you going to do it?”

Half a year into my fellowship, that question still sounds bizarre to me. I admit, moving to India and everything that has happened has not the been the craziest thing I’ve ever done—saying no to it surely would have. I can’t tell you how many times I have stood here and asked myself what in God’s name I am doing out here. The common joke between friends here is, “What is life?” I don’t think I ever want the answer to that one. I think I’m just going to keep doing the weird things, the things that I have little advantage in, the things I feel deeply rooted to. I’ll keep hitting the ‘Apply Here’ button a few more times before this story begins to really add up. Do what leaves you speechless, do what seems too good to be true and we’ll explain later.

Below is a photo of some young bright-eyed idiot the morning she left her house for the airport back in August 2015 😉

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